In the spirit of Dirt’s latest post about the staggering variety of hamburgers, I present the Wikipedia of the various versions of American pizza.  It seems you can’t drive 500 miles in any given direction in American without crossing 2 or 3 regional pizza zones.  Some on them are the pinnacle of pizza making.  Some are just downright NASTY.  But they’re all fascinating in their own right.

And that’s just American pizzas.

The pizza is one of the most popular foods in the world now, thanks to the Americanization of everywhere.  Pizza Hut, Little Caesars and Dominos are sprouting up all over the globe.  Naturally, since those are the worst examples of pizza there is, local variations sprout up.

Of course, leave it to Japan to come up with the WORST variations ever.

“Ideal Taste of Sea Goodness and Mayonnaise!”

Gross.

Previously, the grossest thing I’ve seen on BF is Zimmern’s consumption of a still-beating frog heart; this new episode, filmed in Western Thailand, surpasses the frog heart grossness by several orders of magnitude. In a “timeless  ”comfort food” ritual, they slaughtered a raw cow, and set to eating it. Loops of intestines laying around, lots of gore, and everyone chowing down on it.  Real caveman appeal; it was Quest For Fire minus  Rae Dawn Chong. I’ll get back to this momentarily.

There were four peaks of vileness, each closely following the other, each increasingly vile–

1.) One middle class family (“even by western standards,” Zimmern said) was followed as they prepared their version of  comfort food.  The appetizer was assorted fried insects, among them dung beetles gathered laboriously from piles of cowshit in an earlier segment. Roast ‘em, crunch ‘em down. Keep in mind that dung beetles eat SHIT. Which means that he who eats the roasted dung beetle eats the roasted shit that is part and parcel of their insides.

This was followed by grilled rats, and rat stir-fry. And they DO NOT remove the viscera in cooking. They chop up the rat– tail, head, brain, bones, organs, intestines and their contents–and make a stir fry out of it.

2.) Back to the raw-cow feast. One of the old-timers chopped the stomach open, began to eat the partially digested grass out of it, and offered some to Andrew (who declined).

3.) Then the same old fart got together with a few other old dudes and started preparing a “sauce.” Hot chili pepper, lemon grass, salt.  Sliced open the gallbladder and poured all the bile in the mixture.  Then they all started to chow down on it.

4.) Now if that wasn’t bad enough, it turns out the old timer with a taste for cow-stomach contents and bile added another “secret ingredient” to the “sauce.” Follows a clip of him with a big old loop of intestine, squeezing and working it along so the juice from it went into the sauce bowl.

Okay. “Cultural relativism” fails me here. This was a sauce of  cow bile and SHIT SQUEEZIN’S juiced from the raw bowels by Pruneface Shiteater.  MOTHER-FUCKING SHIT JUICE. It makes me want to scream.  WHO THE FUCK EATS FUCKING SHIT JUICE SAUCE?!

This is not a cultural thing. This is kind of stuff dogs and retarded apes eat. Every time I think I’ve seen the vilest that Homo sapiens has to offer, something like this comes along. I almost wonder if it isn’t put on. I would dearly love to believe that, but I have the sinking filling that shit juice is nummies among at least a few people in Western Thailand.

I know The Fist went PG-13/R a while back, but this is too good not to share.  Also, it’s not ON The Fist, you have to go to another page.

Please don’t ask me where I found this.  Suffice it to say, I think porn is awesome, but every now and again, you run across something that leaves your mouth agape.

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Pressed cat. Via woondu.com

More after the jump

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(UKPA) – 1 day ago

A robot designed to help doctors diagnose swine flu has been unveiled at an exhibition in Japan.

The life-sized humanoid machine, displayed at the Security & Safety Trade Expo (RISCON) in Tokyo, exhibits symptoms of the H1N1 flu virus.

It was developed to help medical workers recognise symptoms of the illness and learn to treat patients.

The robot is coated in a human-like skin. It sweats, moans, cries and convulses, just like a human would when infected with the H1N1 virus.

If it is not treated properly the symptoms gradually get worse and the robot stops breathing….

Read more

In short, it’s a life-sized Tamagotchi.

Also from A23finger with instructions.

1. Hit the ‘change’ button
2. upload a picture of your face, and it will animate it in 3d.
3. Get creeped out and don’t sleep for a week.