Tortilla Bomber versus Bellingham Mystery Tortilla Appreciation Society
Apr04

Tortilla Bomber versus Bellingham Mystery Tortilla Appreciation Society

So there’s this thing my friend started tracking. In February of 2013 or so, we started finding tortillas in plastic bags with odd messages written in sharpie taped to things around Bellingham. My buddy started documenting this and started a Facebook group to invite members of the community to help us keep track. It’s spawned a series of posts on her blog (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4), a tumblr, inspired a...

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Spam Love IV
Aug20

Spam Love IV

Time for another installation of Russian Spam Server Girlfriend! During this exchange, which spanned a month or more, I assumed the personality of Gary, a bodybuilder prone to steroid-induced bouts of rage. Due to certain decisions Gary eventually makes, “Mary” stopped responding all together. From: lady.sharm To: Gary Subject: How are you?sweet!How are you? Wow! You are an exquisite looking man. So stunning. You captured...

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Two delightful short poems.
Jun12

Two delightful short poems.

The following two poems are from the book “Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. He had Ten Thousand Men He Marched them Up To The Top of The Hill And Crushed all the nations of the world and brought them under the rule of Satan our master. This little piggy went to Hades This little piggy stayed home this little piggy ate raw and steaming human flesh this little piggy violated virgins And this little piggy...

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Reading reviews

This is new to me. It came up in a conversation with the elusive Index. The background, according to Index: So these guys made a flash game, that was just a parody of other dumb flash games. Most of the people commenting on it got the joke, but one commentor didn’t and wrote an angry review The voice over actor for the game, did a dramatic reading of the comment. Here’s a link to the audio-only version (with visualizer)....

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Spam Love III
May07

Spam Love III

So, I finally managed to finagle another email conversation with a Russian Girlfriend Spam Server. You’d think this would be an easy task, but most of the times I try this, I never get a response. The below emails (over 10,000 words!) are between me and “Tatyana” via Yahoo email addresses. Unfortunately, I seem to have lost the original email she sent to my real email address, but the rest of them are included here....

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Children’s Books I Hate
Aug04

Children’s Books I Hate

Having had children for close to 8 years now I’ve read many, many books to them. In the house alone we easily have hundreds of them to chose from: books that have been given as gifts, handed down, or purchased at garage sales. Most of these books are tolerable. A select few of them I even enjoy reading. But then there are the terrible books. When these get picked off the shelf, I shudder and prepare myself, dying a little...

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