Is Digit dead?

Where the hell is his Iron Man review? I feel cheated and disappointed. Maybe he’s still in the theater, rewatching it for the eighteenth...

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3 Sentence Movie Review: The Losers
Apr26

3 Sentence Movie Review: The Losers

Between The Losers, The A-Team and The Expendables, this summer is going to be chock full of unstoppable special ops team movies that are part action, part comedy, part sexy, and this one kicks it off just right. The story is pretty boilerplate (the team is double crossed and they want revenge), but the characters make this the most fun, notably Chris Evans as Jensen, the wise cracking computer nerd who always seems to screw it up...

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3 Sentence Movie Review: Book of Eli
Jan16

3 Sentence Movie Review: Book of Eli

3o or so years in the future there has been some kind of cataclysmic event that left most everything dead and dry, including this movie. Denzel Washington plays Mad Max (only he’s just slightly peeved), Mila Kunis plays the dog in A Boy and His Dog (only WAY hotter), Gary Oldman plays Dennis Hopper in Waterworld (only with a bad leg instead of a bad eye), and Tom Waits plays Tom Waits from Mystery Men (exactly). Half a dozen...

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(not) 3 Sentence Movie Reviews: 2012
Nov18

(not) 3 Sentence Movie Reviews: 2012

In lieu of doing the traditional 3 Sentence Movie Review of 2012, I’d like to do a list of potential alternate titles. John Cusack Surfs a Wave of Desrtuction Roland Emmerich Blows Up Famous Shit Speed OH, NUH-UH! Planes, Trains, Automobiles and Boats I Know Who’s Gonna Die Near Miss Luckiest Man Alive Tool – Ænema We’re Fucked That being said, not a bad movie, over all.  It’s boilerplate characters and...

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3-Sentence Review of Doctor Parnassus
Nov03

3-Sentence Review of Doctor Parnassus

1. I think it might have something to do with the director, but this was Tom Waits best performance to date. 2. It’s a tragedy that Heath Ledger died before his promise as an actor could be realized, but i think that using four separate actors to portray Tony actually worked better than if Heath would have played him all the way through. 3. The Gilliam Mindscapes that were glimpsed in movies like “Time Bandits”,...

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3 Sentence Movie Review: Pandorum
Sep27

3 Sentence Movie Review: Pandorum

Take 28 Days Later, Event Horizon and Sunshine, mix em all together, and you get Pandorum; tense, jumpy, sinister, dark and action filled. Ben Foster is exactly as awesome as I always knew he could be, given a meaty leading role. The set design felt evil and foreboding, but at the same time it felt like if the lights were turned on everything would be just...

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