Listen for the fortuitously placed cymbal crash.

And a curtsy, thank you.

I found this trolling the newly-posted videos on YouTube today.

Ed and Travis are Vacation Bible School counselors who made a video expressing how much God loves you.

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not. Please, please, please Little Baby Jesus, let this be a joke.

Here are the lyrics as posted by them on their YouTube description.

Thank You, Lord
For necrotizing fasciitis
I know it’s part of your grand design
To keep the atheists in line.

And thank you for the Tsunami
That washed up half a million
bloated, rotting, nonbelieving corpses.
That was awesome.

CHORUS:
If you had all the power in the universe
Would you do what you should?
If you were God, would you be good?
Of course you would.

Can I get a Hallelujah
For child abuse?
‘Cause we know it’s your love
when we use the rod or the fist or the broken beer bottle on little Suzy.

And thank you, Lord
For the car crash that left me quadrapolegic
I spend an awful lot of time lookin’ at trees,
And considering your love for me.

CHORUS

Thanks for all the parasites
and the land mines.
Thanks for waterboarding
and of course for catching babies on machetes

Some call it atrocities.
I call it love.

Thanks for your love.

CHORUS

And thank you God
For all the diseases I can’t be bothered to name.
Thank you especially for trichinosis.

Praise you, Dear Jesus
For babies born with birth defects.
Having a child that looks like a mushy potato
makes a man think of your love.

Thank you God, for the inside-out baby.

This is from last December, Wired via ABC. I don’t know how I missed this, since legalized high larceny is something I follow with interest–

Thoughts, opinions, welcome.

Bands Seek Piece of Ticket Scalpers’ Action
Dec. 6, 2007

With CD sales tanking, bands and their managers are looking to squeeze extra cash out of the live-music revenue stream by getting a piece of online ticket scalpers’ profits.

Now Radiohead, The Verve and more than 400 other bands have joined the Resale Rights Society, a new British industry group that wants to levy fees against websites that facilitate so-called secondary sales of tickets. The money would be used to compensate artists, managers, booking agents and promoters.

“It does not make sense to try and criminalize (ticket scalping),” said Marc Margot, former Island Records chief and chairman-elect of the Resale Rights Society, which was announced Tuesday. “On the other hand, there are not only real issues of consumer protection here, (but) it is unacceptable that not a penny of the estimated 200 million pounds in (annual) transactions generated by the resale of concert tickets in the U.K. is returned to the investors in the live-music industry.”

Many fans see ticket scalping as unfair, and in some U.S. states the practice is limited or illegal. But others see sites like Seat Exchange, eBay and StubHub — which let scalpers resell concert tickets at whatever price the market will bear — as a natural part of the music ecosystem. And some fans simply recognize scalpers as the easiest route to getting great seats to sold-out shows.

But just as record labels are going after a portion of concert receipts with their so-called 360 deals, managers and bands are salivating over ticket scalpers’ hefty markups.

Read the rest 

WPvideo 1.10

YouTube Link

See the video in its native habitat on TomWaits.com.

So Tom’s going on tour. He’s not coming anywhere near the official fingers (at least until he announces the tour in Dirt’s back yard), but maybe we can all drive down to Mobile (WTF?) and check him out at the Saenger theater.

Here’s a quick list of the dates and locations. Visit Anti.com for up-to-the-minute info.

June 17-18, 2008
Phoenix

June 20, 2008
El Paso

June 22, 2008
Houston

June 23, 2008
Dallas

June 25, 2008
Tulsa

June 26, 2008
St Louis

June 28, 2008
Columbus

June 29, 2008
Knoxville

July 1, 2008
Jacksonville

July 2, 2008
Mobile

July 3, 2008
Birmingham

July 5, 2008
Atlanta

Oh… and NIN released a new free album today. Go download it if you want.

Via MetalSucks.net.

I had no idea that Jada Pinkett-Smith dabbled in music. The world is now 10% suckier because of this dabbling. She even soils the Fist.

If this didn’t feature Billy Dee Williams (Lando, Harvy Dent), and have a little bit of a Leap of Faith soundtrack vibe, I’m not sure I’d fist it. But it does, so I do.

OH! MY! FUCK!

Here’s how I imagine this came into being. The guy in this video is a psychotic vagrant of some sort who, after years of scrounging the dumpsters of computer stores, has assembled a Commodore Amiga, cobbled together a crude green screen, found a CD of weird, indie, European comedy electronica and pirated a copy of Poser from 1997. Now he is able to take what is in his brain and put it to video. His madness is our entertainment. It’s like Carrot Top, only good.