Here’s one for MML, Thumb. Haven’t thought of this one for over 30 years, probably–

Oh, I wish I was Oscar Meyer’s Wiener
That is what I’d truly love to be
‘Cause if I was Oscar Meyer’s Wiener
All the girls would be in love with me

This is fun to do to kids. Make them repeat after you (It’ll take a little practice before you can say it without fucking up):

One smart feller, he felt smart.
Two smart fellers they both felt smart.
And three smart fellers, they all felt smart!

Here’s a selection from the Wikipedia page on Isaac Asimov:

Isaac Asimov was a Russian-born Jewish American author and professor of biochemistry, a highly successful and exceptionally prolific writer best known for his works of science fiction and for his popular science books.

Asimov wrote or edited more than 500 books and an estimated 90,000 letters and postcards, and has works in nine of the ten major categories of the Dewey Decimal System (lacking only an entry in the 100s category of Philosophy).  Asimov is widely considered a master of the science-fiction genre and, along with Robert A. Heinlein and Arthur C. Clarke, was considered one of the “Big Three” science-fiction writers during his lifetime.
…
Asimov was a long-time member and Vice President of Mensa International, albeit reluctantly; he described the members of that organization as “intellectually combative”.

What this does not mention, however, is that Asimov wrote three books of dirty limericks, Lecherous Limericks, More Lecherous Limericks and Still More Lecherous Limericks. 

Here’s a selection I discovered today:

A harlot from South Carolina
Tied fiddle strings ‘cross her vagina,
With proper sized cocks
What was sex became Bach’s
Tocatta and fugue in G Minor

Truly a master.

This dude is ROCKIN’ THE PIT!!

He’s the next Spoonman.  Can’t you just hear Chris Cornell singing, “PITMAAAAN!!!”
Credit to PiercedFinger

Mary had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell;
Mary went to Heaven,
the steamboat went to…
Hello operator,
just give me number nine;
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll chop off your…
Behind the ‘frigerator,
there was a pice of glass.
Miss Mary sat upon it and cut her little…
Ask me no more questions,
I’ll tell you no more lies.
If you get hit with a buckit of shit,
be sure to close your eyes.

Cameron

Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
Said excuse me ladies just doin my duty
so pull down your pants and give me some booty.

Hank
from MO

Walkin down the halls
scratchin my balls
my dick got caught in the elevator walls
my sister screamed
my dick turned green
that was the end of my little ding a ling
I called the doctor, the doctor said
sorry son but your dick is dead

—–

Mother fucker titty sucker two balled bitch
your mother’s in the kitchen cookin red hot shit
your daddy’s in jail
your brother’s in hell
your sister’s on the corner sayin pussy pussy pussy for sale

—–

I’m a mean motherfucker, I’m a jungle man
I’m walkin through the woods with my dick in my hand
I look up in a tree, what do I see
it’s a big fat nigger tryin to piss on me
so I bust out my glock
shot him in the cock
that damn nigger did a belly flop
then I jumped in my jeep and slammed on the gas
and ran right over that fat nigger’s ass

(yeah racism wasn’t that big of a deal back in the 80’s)

-Mike, Idaho