Prof Chandra Wickramasinghe, of Cardiff University, said new research “overwhelmingly” supported the view that human life started from outside our Earth.

Michelle and Jim Bob

DUGGAR BABY NO. 19 ARRIVES EARLY
Michelle Duggar had emergency C-section; delivers 1 lb, 6 oz Josie Brooklyn

By Mike Celizic
TODAYshow.com contributor

Make that “19 Kids and Counting” — but not before something of a scare due to an emergency C-section and a very premature birth.

Michelle Duggar, America’s most famous supermom and star of the TLC reality series “18 Kids and Counting” (which is due for a title change), gave birth to her 19th child Thursday evening.

The infant wasn’t due until March 18, but after Michelle Duggar seemingly recovered from a weekend attack of gallstones and elevated blood pressure, she was rushed into an emergency C-section at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences….

Read more

Christmas is racing up on us people.  So let’s not forget the reason we celebrate it.

Horus, the sky god of Egypt, was born to a virgin, and a star in the east led the wise men to him.

But that’s not where the similarities end, nor are they only between Jesus and Horus.  The stories of Jesus are much older than Jesus himself.  His is the classic hero’s tale that had the benefit of being written down when mankind was learning to do so.

Check out these other Pre-Christian Christmas stories.  It’ll put a little perspective on things.

Miracle-milk via radiofreecruze.com.

For the truly Geek Mormon in your family…

The Christian Side Hug (Not to be confused with the Hindu Lateral Embrace) is a way to hug someone while avoiding the possibility of your groins rubbing together under your clothes.

FINALLY!!!!

I’ve been Heathen Front Hugging people for decades now, and more than half the time it leads to uncontrollable fits of pelvic thrusting.  And about once out of every ten times THAT happens, my wild and vicious thrusting will pierce a woman’s clothes and I end up TOTALLY fucking her.  I have babies all over the world.  It’s a burden.

But behold, Jesus (and these terrible white people) have the answer!

So, I was at a karaoke contest at the Fairhaven Martini Bar last Friday (where I won $100, by the way) and my friend, BottomFinger, usually makes up a name for herself when she fills out the song request slips.  This evening she asked me what her name should be.  I thought for a moment, then said, “TitMouse!”  She used it.  But the thought of a titmouse made me flip over one of the song request slips and start to doodle.  Soon, BottomFinger added some, then I added more, then she added some, and so on.  The result was this:

It made me laugh enough to take a picture by candle light.

All this talk of the Bible, and Bible burnings and all that and things of this nature and what not, reminded me of the Conservative Bible Project.

See, it seems that the good people over at Conservapedia, the dipping pool for all things right wing and loony, think that the Bible, particularly the King James Bible, is just too darn liberal!

So they’ve decided to retranslate the Bible into something a little more suitable for a Tea Party.  Here are their guidelines for the retranslation:

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level^[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;^[4] defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”;^[5] using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

Number 9 is my favorite.  They want to highlight open-mindedness, while maintaining guideline numbers 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8 and 10.  Also, according to number 3, they don’t want to dumb the Bible down, but they can’t wrap their heads around unisex pronouns as well as the words “peace”, “miracle”, “cast lots” and “enroll.”  It’s also confusing when the Bible uses Jewy names for god.

This is asshattery laid bare.  I mean, think about how many times you, I and others have argued with Biblical Literalists and we’ve used the argument that the Bible has been translated, retranslated and mistranslated so many times over the years that its true meaning has been lost.  Well, here’s a group that have explicitly said, “We don’t like what any other translation says, so we’re going to make our own to suit OUR world view.”  And they have, right there, swept away any validity we have to the argument that the Bible is poorly translated.  THEY DON’T CARE!!

On the plus side, we know automatically that anyone quoting from this new Conservabible is a jackass and can neither be taken seriously nor see reason in front of their eyes.