LYNDEN — Six men who allegedly assaulted a man after breaking into his Main Street home belong to a group of Insane Clown Posse followers, according to Lynden Police.
The six men allegedly broke down the front door of a man’s home on Main Street, beat him up and threw furniture through a plate glass window, said Lynden Chief of Police Jack Foster.
The incident, which occurred around 2 a.m. April 6, may have been sparked after the victim allegedly went by one of the suspects’ homes during a party and flashed gang signs, said Lynden Police Detective Lee Beld.
Followers of Insane Clown Posse, a metal/rap duo from Detroit, exist in groups all over the country with some participating in gang-like activity and committing violent acts, Foster said.
Dave Sadistic Juggalo, 24, Brandon J. Bethel, 20, Layton J. Parsons, 19, Jared Michael Thetford, 18, Dylan James Boatman, 20, and William Earl Rose Jr., 21, were arrested on suspicion of first-degree burglary, first-degree malicious mischief and fourth-degree assault, according to Lynden Police.
Making fun of Juggalos is like shooting fish in a barrel… with a Howitzer. It’s easy, but DAMN is it fun!!! For those of you not from Whatcom County, Lynden is a small town of about 9,000 in northern Washington that’s known for being the up-tight bastion of right-wing fundamentalism in the county. Here’s a little snippet from the Wikipedia page:
Lynden used to hold the world record for most churches per square mi. and per capita. Lynden is one of the few cities in the world whose main entrance is in between two cemeteries. Also, most stores in Lynden are closed on Sunday for religious reasons. The purchase of alcohol is also not permitted within the city limits on Sundays, nor is dancing in licensed establishments (liquor retailers) at any point during the week. Manifestations of this are obvious to the visitor - bars closing at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, and the retractable chain link fence locked over the beer and wine in the grocery after last call or on Sundays.
That’s right, no dancing in Lynden. Most people would think that this is where the writers of Footloose got their idea. But I say unto thee NAY!!! For the law went on the books AFTER Footloose was out. So someone saw that movie and thought, “Y’know, that John Lithgow has some good ideas.”
So when I read that there was Juggalo fueled gang violence in Lynden, well, I just got a chuckle out of it. I can imagine how people are just MORTIFIED by this. I’m surprised someone hasn’t run the Juggalos’ families out of town, tarred and feathered.
But the topper, the cherry on the sundae, is Dave Sadistic Juggalo. According to an article from the Lynden Tribune:
Foster said [Dave Sadistic] Juggalo legally changed his name to his current name to reflect his association with the Insane Clown Posse. Juggalo’s original name was David Allen Barnhouse Jr., according to records at the Whatcom County District Court.
Oh man. It’s like Chuckleisticlus, the god of comedy, has smiled upon me and said, “Bust not your ass on a punchline, my child, for the punchline was written for you.” To which I responded, “Thank you, oh lord, but I think I’ll make you up to add a little flair to the end of the post.” To which he replied, “Good idea… But how do I exist if you haven’t made me up yet?” Then he imploded in on himself in a paradoxical collapse of quantum states.
