This is from last December, Wired via ABC. I don’t know how I missed this, since legalized high larceny is something I follow with interest–

Thoughts, opinions, welcome.

Bands Seek Piece of Ticket Scalpers’ Action
Dec. 6, 2007

With CD sales tanking, bands and their managers are looking to squeeze extra cash out of the live-music revenue stream by getting a piece of online ticket scalpers’ profits.

Now Radiohead, The Verve and more than 400 other bands have joined the Resale Rights Society, a new British industry group that wants to levy fees against websites that facilitate so-called secondary sales of tickets. The money would be used to compensate artists, managers, booking agents and promoters.

“It does not make sense to try and criminalize (ticket scalping),” said Marc Margot, former Island Records chief and chairman-elect of the Resale Rights Society, which was announced Tuesday. “On the other hand, there are not only real issues of consumer protection here, (but) it is unacceptable that not a penny of the estimated 200 million pounds in (annual) transactions generated by the resale of concert tickets in the U.K. is returned to the investors in the live-music industry.”

Many fans see ticket scalping as unfair, and in some U.S. states the practice is limited or illegal. But others see sites like Seat Exchange, eBay and StubHub — which let scalpers resell concert tickets at whatever price the market will bear — as a natural part of the music ecosystem. And some fans simply recognize scalpers as the easiest route to getting great seats to sold-out shows.

But just as record labels are going after a portion of concert receipts with their so-called 360 deals, managers and bands are salivating over ticket scalpers’ hefty markups.

Read the rest 

This is where you poop from if you’ve a colostomy. In technical terms it’s called a “stoma.” Image found here, and posted for purely for informational/educational purposes - not to poke fun. Because there but by the grace of blind fate go we, right?

With all the flak that Scientology has been getting in recent months, one wonders if their running a prominent ad on MySpace, leading to this website, is a calculated counter-attack. I think so. This is Grade-A, psycho-engineered propaganda, aimed at a site populated by millions and millions of gullible young people, eager to give their hard-earned money away in the pursuit of more.

And MySpace: Bitch of Darkness, Whore of the Devil, for fornicating with L. Ron Hubbard’s shit-spawned maggots. A pox on your backups.

BTW - I’m not a MySpacenik - the only reason I’ve been there of late is because establishing a presence there is widely considered an element of the “formula for success” in e-commerce, among other things - such as disseminating cultish propaganda.

There’s a line somewhere between those two, but I’m not sure where it lies, and in certain cases I think the distinction is probably academic.

Dammit. I haven’t been eligible for nearly three decades.*

From “Don’t Stay A Virgin”

I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet.

Certain ISP’s are planning to limit internet access in a way that infringes upon internet freedom or ‘net neutrality’.

I’m using sex in a positive way to spread awareness. The reason why only virgins can apply is because I don’t want to make this promise to such a large amount of people that I’ll have to turn some down.

*I’m not sure she’s thought this through. With a guy, how are you gonna tell? Functionally, she’s definitely going to have to turn down everyone under 18, as well as those much over 18, and that’s still no guarantee she’s getting a virgin. The best kind of proof would be the dude lasting for 30-60 seconds, after which it’s too late for her to renege.

 http://www.fakenamegenerator.com

You give it your sex, choose a country you wish to “reside” in and choose a name set (e.g., U.S., Chinese, Slovenia, etc.).

For example, here is one possible alter ego for yours truly. In this case, I am a German national residing in Switzerland–

Ralf Gärtner
Rägetenstrasse 117
4922 Hof

UPS Tracking Number: 1Z 820 698 84 8741 045 6

Since we’re flirting with futurism, here are ten things that we, our children, and our children’s children should keep in mind:

1.) Injecting diseased monkey brain into human beings probably won’t turn them into super soldiers.

2.) Biotechnology gone awry always leads to a “Night of the Living Dead” scenario.

3.) Newly-made zombie chicks can remain fresh-looking for quite some time - especially if they’re from New Jersey.

4.) Immortality is not a good idea, because all the assholes will be immortal, too.

5.) We will never have personal hovercraft.

6.) Will Riker lied when he said that meat from the replicators is as fresh and tasty as real meat. Replicators will never be able to do bacon justice.

7.) No one wants to live on the moon. It’s boring and there isn’t any air. People just think they want to live on the moon.

8.) When/if we finally create the “singularity,” the artificial intelligence that is smarter and wiser than a human, there are three possible scenarios:

- It will feel empathy for us and want to help us

- It will be disinterested in us and our problems, and will want to do its own thing

- It will hate us, and kill us all.

9.) The Jetsons was a Hanna-Barbera cartoon show.

10.) Fucking will always be the most interesting way to make babies.

In t0day’s world where young people have learned to type on a Nokia keypad, the art of writing is becoming harder and harder to come by. I have been shaking my head in disgust at the atrocious grammar people use on the internet for years now. It’s one thing to purposely botch the language for dramatic or ironic effect. It’s quite another when you aren’t even aware of your own language to bother to use it correctly. But recently it has been moving from endemic to epidemic. Call me anal or conceited, but when I see someone consistently butchering the language, I inevitably feel superior to that person. Luckily none of the Fingers of the Fist seem to have that problem.

However, if you ever have confusion about the proper use of a word or phrase, or if you want to brush up on some random idiosyncrasies in the English language, or if you just want to feel superior because you knew the right way already, check out Common Errors in English. It’s a compendium of hundreds of literary and grammatical snafus, and it’s fascinating.

Assy McGee. Cop. Loose cannon. Romantic. Drunk.

What Sly Stallone would look like if he had an ass for a face.

On Adult Swim next Sunday, 12:30 am.

I had a look at Assy’s website. There’s a “fartboard” there, featuring audio clips of Assy’s various gassy exclamations, e.g., the hard-boiled “Fart of Simmering Rage,” the poignant “2 a.m. Fart of Lonliness,” and the comedic “You can say that again Sanchez!” fart. Among others.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/assy/fartboard/index.html

Posted nearly simultaneously at Things That Stink