Thanks to BOBFinger for the tip.

On August 6th 2007, Mark Gagliardi drank a bottle of Scotch… And then discussed a famous historical event.

The first event he discussed is the death by duel of Alexander Hamilton.

And then Michael Cera and friends act it out.

The Jack Black/Ben Franklin episode is after the jump.

(more…)

The 1899 X-Games were quite invigorating!
Bully for them, I say.

This article was written in 1900 and predicted some strangely prescient things.  It also missed the mark by a LONG shot on a few.  But damn it, it’d be nice if a some of these were true.

Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Time to break out the tomfoolery and hijinks. But it turns out there’s an historical precedent for practical joking dating all the way back to the 1500s.

However, it seems that one man on this list took it to an art form.
That man is William Horace de Vere Cole(that’s him on the right).

Among his greatest pranks were:

• * Posing as the interpreter for the Emperor of Abyssinia and his delegation, who were really his friends in turbans and blackface (including Virginia Woolf). He informed the British Navy that the Emperor wanted to tour the new warship the HMS Dreadnought. They were given the full pomp and circumstance treatment with a tour and offers of lunch (which he declined for them, for fear of getting found out). He got away with it, but the prank was later revealed. When the real Emperor of Abyssinia asked for a tour of the HMS Dreadnought some time later, he was refused.
• * When he was a student at Cambridge he took the opportunity of a well publicized trip by the Sultan of Zanzibar to pose at the Sultan and was wined and dined by his own university.
• * He challenged a Member of Parliament to a footrace. Before the race began, he slipped his gold watch into the MP’s pocket. When the race began, he fell behind and shouted “STOP! THIEF!” and had the MP arrested for pickpocketing.
• * He gave away tickets to a play to bald men. When the lights came up, it was apparent from the balcony that he had arranged the seats so the men’s heads spelled out an expletive (I cannot find the actual expletive used, but apparently it had an i in it, as he took the time to dot it.)
• * On the evening before April Fools Day in 1919 he spread horse manure on the Piazza di San Marco. The Piazza is an island in Venice with no horses.
• * He once hosted a party where all the men he invited had last names with some variant of the word bottom (ie, Winterbottom, Ramsbottom, Boddam-Wetham), and waited to show up until the men figured it out.
• * He drove a taxi with a dummy of a nude woman. While passing a policeman he stopped, opened the door and banged the dummy’s head on the ground and shouted, “ungrateful hussy!” then drove off
• * He would hang a cow udder out his trousers and walk about town. When people would notice, he’d cut it off with scissors.
• * He posed as Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald. He then arranged for the real PM to get lost in a cab while Cole gave a speech to the Labour party, scolding them to work for less money.
• * He’d ask a stranger to hold a piece of string on one end for him. Then he’d go around the corner and ask another stranger to hold the other end, then he’d walk away.

I challenge anyone to pull off a stunt nearly as awesome as this man.

Sadly, this seems to be a radio interview, so there’s just a static picture. However, Harlan Ellison is such a hyperactive speaker you hardly notice.

Now, first off, Harlan Ellison is the only person in the fucking UNIVERSE who can out-talk Robin Williams to the point that Robin seems sedate and boring by comparison.

But more importantly, it’s absolutely fascinating to hear about the origin of Scientology. It was a goof! A bunch of pulp authors getting together to get wasted and trade stories results in the wackiest of the wacky religions, care of L. Ron Hubbard, money hungry pulp novelist.

It turns out Hillary Clinton DID take sniper fire during her 1996 trip to Bosnia!

Seriously though, I was listening to the radio today and the host was interviewing a Major General. The General was saying that the chances that the military would put the first lady in a position where she was taking sniper fire were slim and none. In fact, if that did happen there would be asses handed to their owners.

Of Absinthe, Essence of Wormwood, Oscar Wilde wrote: “The first stage is like ordinary drinking. In the second stage, you see cruel and monstrous things. In the third stage, if you can reach it, you may see anything you wish to see.” (paraphrased)

Here is a poster that appeals to both my fascination with the macabre, and with Absinthe culture. It can be purchased here.

*”The Green Fairy”

Absinthe is…the aphrodisiac of the self…
The Green Fairy, who lives in the Absinthe…
Wants your soul.
But you are safe with me.

- Gary Oldman as Prince Vlad, in F.F. Copolla’s Dracula.

EDIT, IN RESPONSE TO PINKY AND MEL’S PROTESTATIONS:

But it simply won’t do to post the above without his alter-ego:

“You will forgive me…but I have already dined. And I never drink…wine.”

- Gary Oldman as crusty hairy-palmed asthmatic Dracula.

“I do not drink vine. And I do not smoke…sheet.”

- George Hamilton as Dracula, in Love at First Bite.

“It’s a black chicken! It’s a black chicken!”

- Anonymous family of color in Love at First Bite, upon George Hamilton’s entering their apartment in the form of a bat.

Most of us who are gluttons for punishment have seen Alien 4: Resurrection, you know, the movie that REALLY shouldn’t have been made after the watering down of the franchise with Alien 3 (which was directed by David Fincher, proving that not everything a great director does is gold). Those of you who have seen Alien 4 may recall the scene at the end where the alien/Ripley hybrid monster-baby gets sucked out the window of the ship, organ by organ. Well, apparently that’s just not possible. In order for a creature to be so violently dismembered by a simple 1 atmosphere pressure gradient, it’d have to be made of pudding and over-easy eggs.

However, if you dial up the pressure gradient to 9 atmospheres, you get the Byford Dolphin Diving Bell Accident:

Diver D4 was shot out through the small jammed hatch door opening, and was ripped apart. Subsequent investigation by forensic pathologists determined that diver D4, being exposed to the highest pressure gradient, violently exploded due to the rapid and massive expansion of internal gases. All of his thoracic and abdominal organs, and even his thoracic spine were ejected, as were all of his limbs. Simultaneously, his remains were expelled with force through the narrow trunk opening left by the jammed chamber door, less than 60 centimeters (24 inches) in diameter. Fragments of his body were found scattered about the rig. One part was even found lying on the rig’s derrick, 10 meters (30 feet) directly above the chambers. His death most likely was instantaneous and painless. (Digit: and AWESOME!!)

Read more about it here.