NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mother of GOWADDDD!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This human-eyed blobfish just scrapes the surface of fish you wish you didn’t know existed.

Undersea shit like this makes me want to curl up in a little ball in the middle of the country and never look at liquid again. Or even watch Witless Protection on an unending loop as long as the theater is miles from a motherfucking Goblin Fish.

by Stinkfinger.

I like this…

To provide an alternative view to my wholly negative take on “lutefisk,” below, I refer interested readers to this young woman’s blog, who has characterized the gelatinous preparation as “quite delicious.”

When I was still married, my wife accepted an invitation to a pre-Christimas lutefisk dinner for us, from a lady of Norwegian extraction with whom she worked. At the time, I had heard of lutefisk, but knew little about it.

“It’s cod,” my wife told me, “prepared a special way.”

I like fish. I like cod. But when I think “cod,” in my mind’s eye I see English style beer-battered cod-filets on a plate, golden brown, with a lot of steak fries. Tartar sauce and coleslaw on the side.

So, Stink with his adventurous palate, was looking forward to the lutefisk dinner….

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While pixel chopping and looking for various bits and bytes to use in my smoked leg creation, I cruised through some smoked salmon pages. One dealt with a Jones Soda creation, part of one of its annual holiday packs: Smoked Salmon Paté. From the page where I encountered it, I get the sense that it didn’t go over so good, and probably will not be appearing again:

SKEETER: “I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU COULD BOTTLE SATAN, BUT IT APPEARS THAT JONES SODA PEOPLE ARE IN TUNE WITH THE VIBRATIONS FROM THEIR POWER CRYSTALS AND WERE ABLE TO UNLOCK THE VORTEX WHICH HAS KEPT THE UNHOLY ONE AT BAY FOR MANY CENTURIES. NOW HE WALKS THE EARTH IN THE FORM OF BOTTLED SALMON AND WILL DESTROY ALL WHO GET IN HIS WAY! MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, THIS IS THE PLATEAU, THE APEX, THE ZENITH, THE EVERLASTING HEARTSTOPPER, THE ONE THAT WILL BRING TEARS TO EVEN THE MOST BURLY OF BRAWLERS!”

Read reviews of a whole range of digusting Jones soda flavors. Like…Broccoli Casserole.

Then, there was the Smoked Salmon Candy. I think it probably sounds weirder than it is. It actually sounds like it might be good when you read about it.

Click for high-rez. Optimum print size: 5 x 2.

Ah, Labor Day, the traditional last day of summer. Picnics, barbecues, water sports, public art expositions. Dad at the wheel of the old family minivan (once it was the station wagon), taking the family on the last adventure of summer…

If you don’t have to work that is.

Buttonfinger used the term “soul-sucking” in a recent comment, to describe horrible, pointless hand-to-mouth jobs (see The Ten Worst Jobs in America*). Most of us probably know the drill; if not right now, this very moment, then in our earlier days when we were just starting out. Because whether you are indigent, unwanted or unworthy, or whether you’re just an inexperienced teenager, soul-sucking jobs are easy to come by in this great nation. In fact, there are surplus of such occupations.

I don’t think I ever had a job that I wouldn’t consider “dead-end.” That’s why I endeavor to make a living by my wits, on the fringes of society, now.

Just a smattering of Stink’s dirty jobs: (more…)