Odd things sometimes happen in this day and age of easy communication via cellphone. Apparently an American soldier serving in Afghanistan accidentally pushed the redial button on his cellphone during a firefight with insurgents, and it dialed his parents home in Otis Oregon.Nobody was home, so the answering machine picked it up and recorded 3 minutes of the battle he was in.

The audio has been converted to a video on

Ok, this actually went up on Monday, but I had some serious internet issues t the time and so I am still catching up wit stuff. Fisty stuff included.

OH! MY! FUCK!

Here’s how I imagine this came into being. The guy in this video is a psychotic vagrant of some sort who, after years of scrounging the dumpsters of computer stores, has assembled a Commodore Amiga, cobbled together a crude green screen, found a CD of weird, indie, European comedy electronica and pirated a copy of Poser from 1997. Now he is able to take what is in his brain and put it to video. His madness is our entertainment. It’s like Carrot Top, only good.

I have to link this video because YouTube has disabled embedding, and rightfully so.  It’s more or less NSFW.  But it’s also NSFYG (Not Safe For Your Gut) because you may just laugh yourself into abs of steel.

Try, just TRY to watch this video and not ask yourself, “What the FUCK was he thinking??”

Pinky has six older brothers so hanging around the sausage Fist some days can be like a return to my childhood, albeit some strange, fucked-up bizarro version.  Given that my father was also in the military you can imagine the majority of movies I watched growing up:  yes, shit with a lot of fucking explosions, murders, military themes, brutality, more blowing up shit, lots of fucking guns, always fucking drinking and drug-use and motherfucking swearing.  And probably a few naked bitches.  More than a few most likely and if they were in distress all the better.

Predator came out in 1987 which would have made me nine years old.  Now, I’m not trying to say anything about how I was raised…but I don’t know if that’s a movie any nine year old should be watching, let alone a young girl.  Because watching the video below (which I think is cool as fuck) and seeing the Predator at the end reminded me exactly how scared shitless of that fucking thing I was for weeks, nay months, at night.  Yet, I couldn’t get enough; anytime my next two eldest brothers wanted to watch the movie again (and again), I sat willingly and wide-eyed next to them waiting for that shit to play out and make me piss my panties (hyperbole, of course).  It was the same thing for all kinds of movies like this:  Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Hamburger Hill, RoboCop, Good Morning, Vietnam…you get the picture.  It’s a wonder I turned out all right.

Or did I?

P.S.  I would have rather seen this version of the movie back then, methinks. Or at least I prefer it now. Kudos to these guys. Bad-ass.

Assy McGee. Cop. Loose cannon. Romantic. Drunk.

What Sly Stallone would look like if he had an ass for a face.

On Adult Swim next Sunday, 12:30 am.

I had a look at Assy’s website. There’s a “fartboard” there, featuring audio clips of Assy’s various gassy exclamations, e.g., the hard-boiled “Fart of Simmering Rage,” the poignant “2 a.m. Fart of Lonliness,” and the comedic “You can say that again Sanchez!” fart. Among others.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/assy/fartboard/index.html

Posted nearly simultaneously at Things That Stink

It turns out Hillary Clinton DID take sniper fire during her 1996 trip to Bosnia!

Seriously though, I was listening to the radio today and the host was interviewing a Major General. The General was saying that the chances that the military would put the first lady in a position where she was taking sniper fire were slim and none. In fact, if that did happen there would be asses handed to their owners.

This is from way back when Stink was only eight years old. The year was 1970, and a dead whale washed up on the beach near Florence, Oregon….

Wile E. Coyote easily could have been the head engineer behind this operation.