Old age Middle prompts Pinky’s tiniest fiddle…
Moldier and balder, more hermit than baller
Somehow his first progeny has managed to turnout smaller…
Than the Log…

Just want you to know.
More enjoyment derived from your ricockulously, freaktastically, DNA-blestasticially recombinant cheater children
(Don’t forget…I learned all about that shit when I met you: MHSSRAP!!! Marissa!! DAMPHIR!!!)
than in the three hell-a-cious years spent in the pall covered
Smog-
Hovered Hell-ay.

When you’re back in the Y-O-MING, I’ll cease calling it Why-o-me-ng, since you’ll take over the GRRRR-ummmping!

Happy B-diddlins, Middle, can’t wait to have ruckus grand central station back—can you believe it’s been twelve years??? You’re fucking thirty dubs one, Man!

♥Pink

P.S. Sure, maybe this makes sense to no one (but A & me); fuck off; I’m fabulous. Bitch Kitty knows.

Hee Hee.

Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Time to break out the tomfoolery and hijinks. But it turns out there’s an historical precedent for practical joking dating all the way back to the 1500s.

However, it seems that one man on this list took it to an art form.
That man is William Horace de Vere Cole(that’s him on the right).

Among his greatest pranks were:

• * Posing as the interpreter for the Emperor of Abyssinia and his delegation, who were really his friends in turbans and blackface (including Virginia Woolf). He informed the British Navy that the Emperor wanted to tour the new warship the HMS Dreadnought. They were given the full pomp and circumstance treatment with a tour and offers of lunch (which he declined for them, for fear of getting found out). He got away with it, but the prank was later revealed. When the real Emperor of Abyssinia asked for a tour of the HMS Dreadnought some time later, he was refused.
• * When he was a student at Cambridge he took the opportunity of a well publicized trip by the Sultan of Zanzibar to pose at the Sultan and was wined and dined by his own university.
• * He challenged a Member of Parliament to a footrace. Before the race began, he slipped his gold watch into the MP’s pocket. When the race began, he fell behind and shouted “STOP! THIEF!” and had the MP arrested for pickpocketing.
• * He gave away tickets to a play to bald men. When the lights came up, it was apparent from the balcony that he had arranged the seats so the men’s heads spelled out an expletive (I cannot find the actual expletive used, but apparently it had an i in it, as he took the time to dot it.)
• * On the evening before April Fools Day in 1919 he spread horse manure on the Piazza di San Marco. The Piazza is an island in Venice with no horses.
• * He once hosted a party where all the men he invited had last names with some variant of the word bottom (ie, Winterbottom, Ramsbottom, Boddam-Wetham), and waited to show up until the men figured it out.
• * He drove a taxi with a dummy of a nude woman. While passing a policeman he stopped, opened the door and banged the dummy’s head on the ground and shouted, “ungrateful hussy!” then drove off
• * He would hang a cow udder out his trousers and walk about town. When people would notice, he’d cut it off with scissors.
• * He posed as Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald. He then arranged for the real PM to get lost in a cab while Cole gave a speech to the Labour party, scolding them to work for less money.
• * He’d ask a stranger to hold a piece of string on one end for him. Then he’d go around the corner and ask another stranger to hold the other end, then he’d walk away.

I challenge anyone to pull off a stunt nearly as awesome as this man.

For rain-soaked Western Washingtonians, spring and summer are the blessed seasons. Particularly summer, because that’s our dry season. Unless you’re into winter sports, spring and summer hereabouts are the seasons where people throw off their raingear, throw on shorts and flip-flops and frolic in the sun, trying to get rid of the fish-belly-white pallor they developed during the fall and winter.

And there’s a lot going on throughout W. Washington/British Columbia/Vancouver Island/The San Juans during the blessed seasons. Yet, it’s been my experience in past years that I’ve ended up missing lots of cool stuff, simply because it is poorly publicized, and because there’s no central clearinghouse which attempts to provide a comprehensive listing of festivals, fairs, concerts, etc. Information on such events is scattered haphazardly across the Web, if it’s on the Web at all, and you literally could surf for hours before discovering half of it.

I’m tired of that routine. There’s no reason for it in this age of advanced information technologies, and so I have developed greatnorthwest.info to remedy the problem. The idea is simply to get all the good stuff into one place, in an interactive format (Google Calendar) where interested parties can add an event to their personal calendars with a mouseclick.

Check it out. The calendars are updated on a daily basis, and it’s only going to get better. Plus there are more goodies waiting in the wings.

Today’s the day

Our humble

Thumbel-

ina, the Fist’s

Master of Mis-

Chief marks his annum;

But no longer with raucous

frivolity & vigor, those times

long since de rigueur; just an odd

grunt, groan & moan and air

that escapes him to his awaiting

Relief (yet sounding much like a queef).

No-good, getting-ancient-pussy! I shout.

And what example be ye to the rest of these louts?

Ah, phooey…Happy Birthday anyway…ye olde bastard, Thumb.

–

Also, I moved the following video into this post since it was you who mentioned putting it on repeat back in the day. Enjoy getting it stuck in your head, everyone. Picture, Wee Thumb, c. 1989.

LA Style - James Brown is Dead

With 2008 on the visible horizon, it will soon be time for a new wall calendar. This year Stinkfinger suggests that, instead of tacking up the traditional tacky bank promo calendar, you consider a quality item, such as the “Men on a Mission” calendar, featuring buff, shirtless, young Mormon missionaries.

No, it’s not a gag. Or at least it’s not intended to be, by the Mormon guy who creates and markets this calendar. And you know you want it. It’s the perfect gift for a lady friend, a gay-male friend, or a…*gasp* Mormon gay-male friend?

Or maybe just for you. Indulge yourself in a guilty pleasure.

This afternoon marks the 2007 Vernal Equinox, around 5:07pm Pacific Daylight Time. This also marks International Astrology Day, as this occurs on the first day of spring each and every year.

While I will leave it up to you to seek and generate the birth chart for Bellingham as an exercise, doing so will enable you to figure out the transits and progressions for today. Meanwhile, here is the chart for Bellingham, Washington at noon today, thanks to Astrodienst: