asinine


Cream in yer coffee?

Oh, man. Thumb is gonna love this.

This guy is a fan of  “Putting Weird Things of Coffee,” as the title of his linked blog indicates. His latest experiment was to add a “lowfat whipped dressing” (aka Miracle Whip®) to his joe. Because he didn’t have any mayo around…

Mmmm...salty, chunky, creamy....

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Brokencyde Freaxxx

I think they use auto-tune. Watch past 1:45…it’s awesome.

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Hunter S. Thompson vs. Answering Machine

The Wikipedia entry for Hunter S. Thompson will tell you he died February 20, 2005.  I think he didn’t. I have worked customer service jobs for the past 5 years and I have talked to this dude a bunch of times.

NSFW due to foul language.

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Ok, not quite Darwin, but definitely Dumbass Awards

The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called “a rocket-launch effect.”

And he’d been alive for 62 years already when he had this bright idea.

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Credible Threats to the Homeland

SUSPICIOUS INCIDENT FORCES EMERGENCY LANDING FOR FLIGHT AT PHILLY INTERNATIONAL

PHILADELPHIA - A flight was diverted to Philadelphia International Airport this morning and landed without incident after a suspicious incident on board, officials said.

It is believed that a man made a threat on board the plane that involved some type of device. It was later revealed the man had a religious device strapped to his head. Police on the ground in Philadelphia ruled later that it was a harmless religious device and there was no threat involved…

(read more)

Addendum, 12:27pm:

PHILADELPHIA — A teenage airplane passenger using a Jewish prayer object caused a misunderstanding that led the captain to divert a Kentucky-bound plane to Philadelphia and prompted a visit from a bomb squad.

A 17-year-old boy on US Airways Express Flight 3079 from New York to Louisville was using tefillin, a set of small black boxes containing biblical passages that are attached to leather straps, said Philadelphia police Lt. Frank Vanore.

When used in prayer, one box is strapped to the arm while the other box is placed on the head….the teen explained the ritual after being questioned by crew members of the flight…Officials with the airline, however, said crew members “did not receive a clear response” when they talked with the teen…. (source)

[I will note that when I heard the story this morning around 7:00pm PST, it was reported that the individual with the "device with wires attached to it" had made a "threatening remark." ]

————-

And in a late-breaking story–

SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE BEING INVESTIGATED AT McCHORD [AFB, TACOMA, WA]

KIRO-TV is reporting that a suspicious package is being investigated just inside the North Gate of McChord Air Force Base.

A bomb-defusing robot has been called in to check out the device.

No traffic is being allowed through the North Gate, and part of 112th Street near the base has been closed. The closure is causing backups on Highway 512.

[Whether it's an actual device or a bag of Taco-Bell leavings remains to be seen.]

(Source)

Addendum, 12:23pm: What was previously referred to as a “device” in the article above is now referred to as a “suspicious bag,” which contained…nothing dangerous. Meanwhile, the story has since been rewritten to exclude the term “device.”

(source)

And this just in–

(more…)

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Mikey, the Eight-Year Old Islamic Extremist

"Let's get Mikey! He'll blow up anything!"

Eight-Year-Old Boy on Terrorism Watch List

Travel is a Hassle for a N.J. Cub Scout who is on TSA’s Watch List

Travel is a hassle for an 8-year-old Cub Scout from New Jersey.

That’s because Mikey Hicks shares the same name of a person who has drawn the suspicion of the Homeland Security Department.

His mother tells The New York Times she sensed trouble when her son was a baby and she couldn’t get a seat for him at a Florida airport. She says airline officials explained his name “was on the list.”

He was patted down as a 2-years-old at Newark Liberty International Airport, and continues to face extra scrutiny from security every time he flies.

The newspaper says the boy’s name appears to be among 13,500 on the “selectee” list, which sets off a high level of security screening.

Transportation Security Administration spokesman James Fotenos says in the coming months, the agency will cross-check names with birth dates and gender.

Source

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Pat Robertson Blames Haiti Earthquake on “Pact With the Devil”

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Also see: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/14/2792164.htm?section=world

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Security Breach at Newark Airport

This is what constitutes an airport emergency these days.

Some guy walks through the wrong door, and the entire airport is shut down, people are hauled off planes, everyone is forced to go back through the screening process, flights are cancelled, passengers are panicked, and the entire air transportation system goes into cardiac arrest.

Because one guy walked through the wrong door.

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