Apparently if you slow Jeff Goldblum down a little bit, he sounds drunk as fuck. Like, Tara Reid drunk.

Also, seriously, is that all they had to go on back then? Macs are not beige? Helluva selling point. I’m convinced.

ThumbStore has a new goal.

The MeatPod!

For a scant ¥6980 (that’s $67.50) you can have a degloved iPod!

$67.50 may seem a bit steep for an iPod sheath until you realize the rubber is modeled after fine Japanese Kobe Beef.  Three of the surviving women of Nagasaki spend 45 minutes per sheathe hand massaging the rubber to give it that tender Kobe Rubber Beef flavor.

The only drawback is that your MeatPod will only play Tool and Ted Nugent.

I’ve been meaning to make this parody for many moons. Sexy, sexy moons.

Just don’t drop your iPod in the toilet.

This is kind of old news, I think. Some comments:

1. Watch how proud he is of coming up with “shuffle the shuffle.”
2. I wonder how real his playlist is. Planted or legit?
3. Shit. George Bush uses an iPod. I repent! Get me a Zune!
4. “Got the ear things on…” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
5. A couple of his motions reminded me of Martin Sheen as Jed Bartlett, which scared me.

Those of you who have been trolling the intarweps for a while may know of a guy named Maddox and his website, The Best Page in the Universe.

Well, I recently rediscovered it, and found his two pieces on my favorite thing to look down my nose at, Apple.

On the iPod:

No, I’m not going to get an iPhone, quit emailing me about it. I’m not getting one because I already have a phone that’s better: it’s called the Nokia E70, it’s the pinnacle of human achievement, and I love it more than my family:

You’ve probably never heard of the E70 because Nokia’s marketing team is busy finding every last dick in the universe to suck, so I’m going to do their job for them and tell you about this product. And no, I’m not being paid to do this. I’m just tired of the iPhone fanboys shooting huge sticky wads and high-fiving each other (literally) over their stupid cellphones.

More…

On Macs and Mac fans:

Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It’s because of all the calories they burn because they can’t shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths? Everywhere I go, there’s another asshole with a Mac preaching about how much better Macs are than PCs. They regurgitate lines directly from Apple’s marketing campaign, like “it just works.” I have the following rebuttals to this argument:

Re: His Butt… 

Thumb?  Index?  Pinky?  Any of you other skinny Maciacs?

OHH!!!!  I have the most evil, fire stoking smile on my face right now!!!

Grab me Pinky’s typewriter, it is time to start coding!

This is looking pretty awesome:

The SDK will come with the same developer tools as what’s used at Apple, including a source code editor and debugger, an interface builder and testing software. It will be able to remotely debug to check apps while running on the iPhone.

….but I’ll need a freaking MAC to use the simulated iPhone! I’ll have to borrow Thumb’s Mac.

No matter, we will prevail and push FOB onto the platform natively.

Just you watch. (evil laugh…)

Side note - Jobs earlier this week was still against using Flash on the iPhone, nudging Adobe to build a version of Flash that would work better than what they offer today. This really peeved Adobe and Flash followers, and remains a stumbling block to the iPhone’s acceptance as being a first-rate web appliance. Adobe’s Flash runs on millions of devices worldwide.
QuickTime is clunky too, Steve.

This guy bought an unopened Apple //c on ebay.

So he opened it.

Flip through these and marvel at how much has changed and how much has stayed the same.

Things are much smaller and faster now. But I’m kind of surprised that in 20 years, the basic human interface hasn’t been rethought. Or maybe it has, and the current system is just too ingrained at this point.

So my bedroom doesn’t have a TV. Instead of falling asleep to television, sometimes I’ll watch some TV on my iPhone. But holding it is a pain, and it’s hard to find just the right items to prop it up on my nightstand.

So tonight, I dumped out our box of Legos and made an iPhone stand.

It’s adjustable to an extent, and would be simple to modify for even more adjustability. I thought of about a million cool little tweaks i could add to it (vertical stand support, gear and gear reduction to allow hand-cranking angle adjustment, an alternate version that holds the iPhone from above like a crane, etc), but in the end, I decided to go with a simple stand that routes power and earbud wires.

Lots more pictures at the FistOfBlog Flickr account.

Jesus, I feel like I should suck spit through my teeth and push my glasses up with the heel of my hand.