Old man take a look at my life
I’m a lot like you.

Devil Dog.  It’s a long story, but here goes….   (Please excuse my horrible writing and grammar)

  About 15 years ago I moved into a rental house with 2 guys I had never met before.  I was in need of a new living arrangement and my brother knew 2 guys from his gym that needed a room mate.  Chris and Brett had just moved to N. Carolina from Tennessee and the guy that was to be the third room mate had bailed out last second. I talked to these guys on the phone, they seemed nice, had good jobs, so it was a deal.  

  On the day I was to move in my new roomies would be at work, so I had to move into a house I had never seen, with guys I had never met in person.  It was kinda strange, but fine.  The house was very normal.  Ranch style, small, in a lower middle class area.  My room was to be the garage, converted into a rec room, with the garage doors converted to two large sliding glass doors.  It was nice cause I’m a musician with a decent sized studio at the time, and this was the biggest room in the house by far.

  I arrived at the house noticing first that my roomies cars were gone, as expected.  I backed up to the sliding glass doors for easy moving of all my music gear into my room.  I unloaded for only a few minutes when I noticed, through my bedroom doorway that opened into the living room, what seemed like movement out of the corner of my eye.  

(more…)

A friend send this to me. Hoooooly shit, did I laugh.

So this brown cow and this brown chicken fall in love. One day, out behind the barn, they’re having hot animal sex. The farmer walks by, and what do you think he says? I’ll tell you what he says. He says:

“Brown-chicken-brown-cow”

Give a little hip thrust and say the punch line out loud if you need to.

I guess I’m back on the turds again. I don’t know why turds are so funny to me. They just are.

Here’s an article which gives something of a portrait of what kind of man - or rather, a pathological toxic freak - Joseph Fritzl was, supposing it is accurate.

Informal survey: For those who have acquainted themselves with the enormity of Fritzl’s crime, what should be his fate? Under Austrian law, the most he is likely to get is 15 years - in which case he will likely die in prison.

A. Go with the 15 years
B. Cut his balls off + 15 years,
C. Cut his balls off, preserve them, and make him wear them around his neck during the 15 years.
D. Solitary, on bread and water until he dies. Literally throw away the key.
E. Shoot him in the head
F. Other (use your imaginations)