Spam Love V

For Spam Love V, I wanted to try something a little different. I decided that my persona would be that of eight-year-old Charlie, who corresponds with his new email friend without his parents knowing about it. It took a couple of tries, but finally I started to exchange emails with someone named Oksana. Every email she sent was labeled “Hello” which made it a confusing process. She didn’t seem to have nearly as deep of a well of photographs to share as other Spam Loves, so Charlie tried to make up for this by sending his favorite images. It went OK for awhile, but Oksana eventually stopped emailing back after Charlie suggested that she was being weird.

To: Charlie
Subject: Waiting for your answer:)))))

Hello! I think that you have a good day today and you will be glad to receive from me this letter. I’m a lonely girl who wants to meet with you and build a serious relationship. I will send you a photo if you answer me. I’ll wait for your letter. And I wish you all the best and sending you a kiss.

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Waiting for your answer:)))))

dear stranger,

hi!! my nam is CHarlie. i am 8. What is a serious relationship?

I askt my dad if I culd hav a kiss from you. He said NO. So we hav to be secert.

i Like you. I like legos to. i have alot.

Please write back


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello! I am encouraged by your response! I want to tell you right away! What
I’m looking for a serious relationship! Maybe marriage and family! I need a
serious adult man! With that I’ll feel confident and protected! If you are one
of those men! I’ll be glad to meet with you! And if you just look for ham and
lungs and sexual relations, please do not bother me! and do not write me! I
want to reiterate that I need a serious man with whom I can build a strong
friendship and love! And if you’re ready to be serious and look for a serious
relationship email me I will answer you and tell you more about myself and of
course I will send a photo! Thank you!

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Hi hi

I liked your pixtur. you look lik my ant Patty

i love ham. but not girls, there icky. but i like you. i am sory, im not good at tieping.


To: Charlie
Subject: Hi

Hello! Frankly, I am pleased that you wrote to me, I write to you from Internet
cafe, I was given your address AGENCY dating. I will try to talk about yourself
as possible, detailed and accurate. My name is Oksana. I was born in 1982
December 15, my age 29 years my weight 53 kg, my height I see 1.71 I live in
Russia, the capital of the republic of Chuvashia Cheboksary. I live in a quiet
area on the outskirts of the city, not big but cozy apartment. My family is Mom
and I, I have no brothers or sisters. Mom and my dad and he went went to another
town, to another family. But I did not blame him for that. With his mother are
not on together, and I was an adult. I also have a girlfriend Irina and it is
almost like a sister to me. I graduated from Pedagogical Institute and now works
in store sells women’s clothes, until I found a good job this work time. I like
you and I wrote is a lonely girl. I’m trying to find someone with whom I can
build a big, strong love, and even family. Now please tell me about yourself,
where you work, what do in your spare time, what you’re looking for and what
your ideal girl? I had my first relationship. I lived for 2 years with a beloved
man, but he betrayed me. He cheated on me with another girl. And we parted. I
could not survive such a betrayal. He lied to me. To me in a relationship
important trust, and we have not been with him confidence. And we parted. I have
already old enough girl. I really want to have children, I want to have a
family. I do not do not want any games, I want a serious relationship, I think
you’re looking too thing. Here I told you not much about myself. Tell me about
yourself, his life, his work, and all that we know each other better. You do
very interested. I want to know you closer. I hope that you do not tired of
reading my long letter :-). On it I finish my letter. I will be with look
forward to your letter. Regards Oksana

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hi


Why don’t you like games? i like pokeman!!! thats a game!!!

i think you wuld like my mom alot. you could drink whine with her in the kitchin. you could talk about family and children wwith her. she siad i’m too young to hav relations with an old rusian lady, just like my dad did. but don’t worry. i will email you secert.

also, billy eated a booger at recess today!!!

From: Charlie

To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello. I’m very glad you told me. I’m glad that our friendship and our
acquaintance with you continues. I write this letter about myself and what I do
in my spare time and I love. I love to free time to read books, go for a walk
with friends, help her mother around the house. I love the same cook. All say
that I’m doing a marvelous meal. Yes, sometimes I like to dream up the kitchen
and often to be not a bad meal. But the most I love Italian food. And you what
do you do in your spare time? You like to cook? Which cuisine do you prefer? I
graduated, I attended this university in Chuvashia. By profession I am a
manager. But I like my job. I also love to play sports. I do in my free time in
the morning with my friends run around, go to the gym, for that would keep your
figure and do for themselves. Do you like sports? What? I do not smoke and do
not when you do not smoke. I do think smoking is a bad habit. I do not drink. I
drink only on holidays and only wine and champagne and not large quantities. Do
you smoke? I hope that you do not abusing alcohol. Because, if you hear that we
have in Russia and so many people are drinking alcohol :-). I will tell you not
much about the city, so you have an idea of ??where my city and I do live.
Chuvashia is the capital of Chuvashiya. This is a very old city. In the city a
lot of old buildings, homes, which for many years. Our city is very beautiful.
City like a fairy tale. Many beautiful in the city, parks, entertainment
centers. We have in a beautiful flowing river Volga. Volga River flows across
Russia. This is a very beautiful river, it is very old. On this river has seen
many battles, warrior. You may have heard the name of the river. Tell me more
about your city? I’m curious what’s your city? I do not when had never been
abroad. Travel abroad is my biggest dream. I have another dream, it is to be in
the mountains. I think that in the mountains is very cool. It’s so beautiful,
fresh air. Tell me about your dream? I’ll wait for your letter. Looking forward
to the continuation of our acquaintance. Your new girlfriend Oksana

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Hi Oksan

i like pizza. my city has a WALMART

i am in the thrid grade. my Teacher is Mrs Schaffer. Sometimes a police man comes he works for DARE and he says drugs are bad.

i don’t abuse ANYTHING. Except my cat. my Dad says cats dont have souls


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello. How are you doing today. I’m fine. I am very glad that you wrote to me
again. we Every day we learn more about each other. For some reason it seems
that we’re something similar, do not you you think? You and I have much in
common, I think. Today, I told all my friends that I met a very remarkable man.
All I ask where? I said that I met through Internet. Everyone was very surprised
and happy for me. I told them that you are a wonderful person. I told mom that I
met you. I told my mom about you. Mom reacted positively to you and even gave
you greetings. I am very glad that all of my support. And supported by our
knowledge with you. today I was at work was a very difficult day. I am very
tired. You a very interesting person and I would I would like every day to learn
all you more and more. I would very much like to meet with you in real life. I
think that we would find a lot to talk about. I think maybe you are the man I’ve
been looking for. I’m on it I finish my letter. Oksana

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Hi Oki

I am not a man. I’m 8. Dad says i will be a man when i learn to pick up my room.

i would like to talk to you about Transformers. Which do you like batter: Otterbots or Deceptacorns? I like opiemus PRIME

ok i haf to go. it is time for dinner we’re having pizza!!!


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello !!!!! As your business as you have a mood? I’m all right. I am very
pleased see your letter. I am really very happy that our friendship has become
stronger. With each the letter we learn more and more about each other. And that
means a lot, I became a better you understand. You become really very dear to me
as a friend. I have very few friends men I could behave so as to you. I can
trust you, I can share with you their secrets. I can easily communicate with
you. With you I feel very open and honest, makes I am more emancipation and I
easily communicate, and you discover its soul. I also hope very much that you
also openly communicate with me. Because friendship is based on the credibility
of the man. If you do not trust the man he is not your friend, because you can
not entrust him his life and even heart. I therefore very much appreciate our
friendship with you, and I am happy that arise between us such warm and friendly
relations and I would not like to isportilis happened or that neither either. I
am pleased to read your letter and think how you there now than to deal with. I
lifted the mood when I get letters from you. Now you have taken place in my
heart. I every day thinking about our conversations and I have a smile on his
face. Evening, when I lozhilas sleep, I thought about you and when I usnula, I
dreamed. I have an extremely a wonderful dream. I dreamed that we met with you.
You met me with great big bouquet of flowers. We met with you on the beach. We
have long talked about each other. Then we had a long walk around the beach. We
went with you on the sand, laughing rejoiced. Our feet washed sea breeze. I
really liked this dream. I woke up with a very good and happy mood. Write me how
you spent your day? I will wait for your letter. To kiss Oksana

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

hi Oski

i cant be your BEST FRIEND. My best friend is Ryan Taylor. can we be secondest best friends?

i had a dream last night too!!! in my dream I met Kate Perry. She gave me a hot dog. and a golf ball.

what are usnulas and lozhilas? Are those leg bones?


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello my friend. I am glad that you wrote to me. Today I come to the
internet-center and I see a letter from you it is very good. for me, a person’s
age does not matter – as long as he loved me! that was a reliable support in my
life! And you have a hobby? Now I have no particular hobbies. But despite this,
I have several drives. Basically this book. You know I do not read all the books
in a row, I do not like to read only fantasy because I love this genre. I began
to read a long time Tolkien “The Lord of the Rings”. Did you read this book. I
love it. I watched the movie yesterday in our cinema and I loved it. I think
that this film can only be removed when there were computers and more advanced
technology. I think that you agree with me? I want to ask you what kind of music
do you like? I like different styles, but lately I like the style of New Ege
because it makes one think, and I like to listen to the music before bed. It’s
bands like Enya, Enigma and many others. In addition to the music I like and
more popular American and British music. We have a radio, the radio is the most
popular in Russia this Radio Europe +. I listen to a radio. Have you heard of
them? Probably not, but it is the most popular radio in Russia. Maybe you think
about why I did start to write to you? I can only say one thing. Do not
misunderstand me, I can not find in Russia a man who would love and respect me.
As one wise man “When we live, we are in search, in search of someone who can
walk with you through life, because one to go very, very difficult.” I think
that you agree with me? And if you specifically what I’m looking for in a man is
that he was a kind and caring. Maybe it’s just a child’s dream, but I think you
just like that. For my purpose in life is to find someone who can take care of
me and our children with him. I will do this for all the efforts that I can and
I will always go with this man hand in hand to help and support him. Recently,
it happened that I was at the funeral of a classmate. The fact that he had
recently died from what he used drugs and died of an overdose. He was a great
friend, he always came to my rescue when I was bad. He was a successful
businessman. But unfortunately he succumbed to drugs and unfortunately it is not
longer with us. I am very sorry about this, and I am totally against drugs. I
understand that you are very hard to understand what I write, but you forgive me
I am waiting for your letters and I can say that they have become to me more
than just e-mail it to a lot more.

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

hi okie

I hav not red LLORD of THE RINGS. But I have the LEGO sets!!!

I have child’s dreams to. because i am a child. Soon I will be a man. Once I get a PONTIAC FIREBIRD!!!

i would like to send you a pixtur of my dog. his name is Barley. he pukes sometimes

your frend

To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello dear! I am always with great pleasure that I read your letter. I am happy
to receive you letter. I am very pleased that I managed to write to you again. A
long time I did not have ability to write to you. But now I finally reached the
computer and now are happy to write you letter. If you knew what a pleasure for
me to write you a letter. I really great pleasure to write you. Because as a
man, you good and really likes me. You know, Recently, I think a lot about us. I
think not just about you, my respect to you I think about us. I think, do we
have any chance to meet in life? As far as likely to prevail, and how our
relationship further. Maybe we just talk a little bit and who dismiss much. Or
maybe all together in another. Interestingly, not whether … every day, the
more I talk with you, the more I think about you, the more I am catching their
thought that my attitude to you a little bit different. I begin to treat you
slightly another. Are you with each passing day means to me more and more. Sorry
if I have a few of you shocked by their words, I did not want, I just want to
tell you that I have simply no forces discourage a sense of who they overwhelmed
me. You really like me. I very much going to wait for your answer. Your Oksana!

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

hi akie

you havnt writ me back???

i was sick i had dieria. mom said it was splosive.

bbut i’m batter now!!


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hi love moya. Honey how you doing? And so I’m all right. Honey I am so tired be
single women. Honey, I want you to love and affection, I want you to prizhal me
to his breast and kissed my lips. I want to start life from scratch. I want
life, full of love. Honey I want to feel the warmth of your body and taste of
your lips. Honey I feel the touch of your hands. Honey, I want next to me was a
man like you. Honey, I want to that you were next to me. Honey and you do not
close and that I am very sad and lonely only Your letter warms my heart and soul
just thinking about you pleased with my conscience. Honey, I constantly I think
about you when I lozhus to sleep I think about you when I was at work, I also
think about you cute when I sleep I see the wonderful dreams with your
participation, and when I wake up all my thought only of you. Honey, I just want
you and no one except those you do not need me. Dear me need your love, dear, I
want to love you and that you were always beside me. Dear imagine Please imagine
a moment that remarkable day when I can tell you: “Well, we Finally it together
My love “…… Honey I’m waiting so long, most of the day when I can say you
cherished those words. Honey do for the time, but we correspond with you, we
never There was general agreement. Honey told me how much I have to tolerate and
wait for our meeting ???????? Honey, I do not think that now you do not davlju
not, dear, I just want to be full family, dear, I wish that we had with you have
small children, had their own house in we would have had their own bedroom and
would deal with you love. Honey do you want this??? Honey do you want us to live
with you in the ground??? Honey, I think that a person how long do you have time
to have a family. Honey is an adult you think about the future What’s next for
you fate provides a chance that you should necessarily use it. Honey you should
not be singles you must necessarily have a wife and children. Honey why I must
tell you about this in his letter to you as an adult and he should think about
this. Honey on this, I concluded his letter, I hope you listen to my words and
feelings some conclusions. Honey, I love you and the whole. With love your Oksana

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Dear Okie,

Iif you visit you can Play with Optimust Primed. Hes my favorit! You can sleep on the couch. I will askt my mom.

i DOn’t like honey. bees make it on ther legs!!!

also, i dont kiss girls yet. i’m 8.


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hi my love, cute, caring. My love, how are you, how are you feeling? I’m fine, I
read your letter, and I rejoice. I feel your love and care. I think that, as I
will be well with you, with that in mind I’d live well every day. My dear, I
want to ask you: When I meet with you, you’ll also take care of everything going
on in your letters? Today I am doing house cleaning. Love my, as well, that you
have with you is your love for me, your love is the most wonderful thing that is
on this white light. I really want to meet you, and know what it is when you
really love and you love, I think that this feeling can not compare with what
she’s feeling in the world when you are loved and you love happy. We all came
into this wonderful world to love and be loved, and I very much look forward to
meeting you. All these words to you, my very dear, dear, a lot of tender, tender
kisses, your love, waiting for your love, Oksana.

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Dear Okie,

Do you like NFL Football? My team is the ohkland raydars!!


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Good day! How are you today, as your health, it’s okay with you? Thank you for
your letter I’d like to get to read your letter, I read your letter carefully, I
am now at home and write a letter for you, if you knew how much I was waiting
for your letter, but my internet was not working and that I could not write a
letter to you, but now all is well and I can easily write to you, I am very
pleased to receive your letter. I’m fine today, cleaning the house, cooking food
is a delicious soup Borscht soup with vegetables and meat, cooked salad, I love
spending time in the kitchen, my dear, tell me what you were doing at the
weekend. I was at home, I watched TV, I Love Watching TV now started the
Biathlon World Cup, I love sports, I love to ski, I love to swim. Now I’ll look
forward to your reply message

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Dear Okie,

What is a letter? like an enail?

When my mom maked the borsht I said I dont want to eat that!!!

And then i didnt git to watch tv


To: Charlie
Subject: Hello

Hello my so far, this is my home. My dear, how are you doing, you have a good
mood? I’m all right. Here I recall my first letter written by you, it seems like a
bit of time has passed, and I have with you are family relationships, I have a
real sense that you are my family. Your image warms my heart, and hope that soon
we will be together. My love, I believe it is a miracle happens, I’ll see your
eyes and bottomless blue, your smile, I do not think of you in such a family, I
want to inspire you to take into your world of love and tenderness. For me,
everything was fantastic, fabulous, when will my meeting with you, it will be for
me the most precious, happy holiday. My dear, my heart will always be with you. My
sweet – you are my life, you are my happiness with you all my life, and I want to
live and live only with you. With faith, hope, and with a great love for you, kiss
your true love

From: Charlie
Subject: Re: Hello

Dear okie

your weird.

mom said you can’t come over for dinner.



Author: Middle

I'm a sporting guy. I like rollerblade basketball, waterpolo and a good dripping paper basket of nachos.

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1 Comment

  1. Bwahahahahahah. Middle, you crack me up with these every time. I love this character. Especially how he misspells her name over and over and tortures cats.

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