I first saw this culinary monstrosity on the Food Network, and it seemed like a relatively obscure holiday “delicacy.” With the hybrid name of “Tur-duc-hen” (sometimes spelled “Turducken”) it consists of a de-boned Turkey, stuffed with de-boned duck, which in turn is stuffed with a de-boned chicken. Layered between the birds is any kind of stuffing you please, limited only by your imagination.

Turns out it’s not so rare as I thought. There’s a freezer case full of Tur-duc-hens in boxes, out a Fred Meyer. Oven-ready, and Tur-duc-hen “rolls,” as well, which is sort of a meat “jelly roll” or stromboli, made from the three birds and stuffed with other goodies.

I’m sure it’s probably delicious. I just think it’s kind of excessive. Turkey, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, green bean casserole, and salad, followed up with pumpkin pie and ice cream – that’s a pretty heavy meal. Y’all know the drill. So why the need to stuff that turkey with a duck and stuff the duck with a chicken?

Cooked and quartered Turducken.

At first I thought this was just more modern day excess, but it turns out that stuffing birds with birds goes way back to the Dark Ages. But they did it with real “style” back then, starting with a goose, and working through pheasants, partridges and grouse, all the way down to house-martins and sparrows. Yum.

I discovered an ancient poem a couple years ago, that highlights the kind of excesses the well-to-do would indulge in, way back when….

MEN MAY TALK OF COUNTRY CHRISTMASSES

Men may talk of country-Christmasses and court-gluttony,
Their thirty-pound* buttered eggs, their pies of carp’s tongues,
Their pheasants drenched with ambergris, the carcases
Of three fat wethers** bruised for gravy, to
Make sauce for a single peacock; yet their feasts
Were fasts, compared with the city’s…

Did you not observe it?
There were three sucking pigs served up in a dish,
Ta’en from the sow as soon as she farrowed,
A fortnight fed with dates and muskadine***,
That stood my master in twenty marks apiece,
Besides the puddings in their bellies, made
Of I know not what. — I dare swear the cook that dressed it
Was the devil, disguised like a Dutchman.

Phillip Massinger (1583-1640)
——-
*thirty-pound – about 240 eggs

** – wether – a male sheep, usually castrated. Often they were fitted with bells and called “bellwethers.”

*** – muskadine – a variety of grape

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