Cat Food

So, this Buffalo, NY traffic cop pulls this guy over for running a red light, and looking in the dude’s trunk he discovers a cat in a cage. The cat’s fur is soaked in oil, salt, and mixed hot peppers. The guy claims he’s marinating the cat in preparation for cooking him.

Naturally, the cops confiscated the hapless cat and charged his previous owner with cruelty. I won’t quibble too much about this, but after having encountered innumerable feral barn cats with anemic offspring being devoured by fleas as well as abandoned cats out in the snow trying to make a living on chicken bones and pizza crust, I tend to question just how cruel hitting one of the buggers over the head and cooking it really is. Especially when viewed in contrast to milk-fed veal, and geese with their feet nailed to the floor for purposes of nurturing preternaturally large foie gras through forced feeding.

What gets me, though, is how the guy had the cat marinating, alive, in its fur. That’s retarded – that’s like a Looney Tunes episode where the Tasmanian Devil is gonna cook Bugs Bunny and is salting him while Bugs is still alive and alert. Or when Porky gives every indication that he intends to cook and serve Bugs to Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall with the viscera still inside the long-eared galoot.

Well, our cat connoisseur doesn’t look like the brightest star in the universe (see right), and I like the cat’s looks better than his (see upper left), so all’s well that ends well. We’d best leave the cats alone until post nuclear apocalypse.

Here’s a link to the original article and video. The cat has a new home, now.


Author: Stink

Former jet-fighter jock, currently an eccentric philanthropist and international playboy, Stinkfinger is devoted to juxtaposing the sacred and the profane to both baffle and entertain you, and possibly to save Western civilization from utter dissolution. Stinkfinger neither engages in nor understands the practice of “felching.”

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