Some Food Looks Like Body Parts, Because Jesus

Fisted by Digit under Food, Jesus, Religion, Science, godtube, video on Mon, May 5, 2008
[21] Comments

There’s some REEEEEALLY shaky science going on here.

I love how they forget to make a health claim about citrus. Just that it looks like boobs.

Grapefruits look like boobies.
Just sayin’.

Mushrooms look like genital warts.
Rubbing mushrooms on your balls feels great.

The cross section of a kiwi looks like a butthole.
Kiwis are easy to poop out.

Pot leaves look like fingers.
You roll joints with your hands.

Ipso facto. It’s all true*. Therefore evolution is wrong.
(*Except for that celery part. Celery has 51 milligrams of sodium per stalk, which is 2% of the RDA of 2400 milligrams. They also dropped the ball on kidney beans being good for the kidneys. Sure, it’s good for you, but the real benefit in kidney beans lies with the heart, blood, muscles, fat and digestive system. Also, the walnut, while it’s high levels of Omega-3 fatty acids to help with the brain, it’s major benefit lies with heart health and general cardiovascular well being. But hey, they can’t be expected to get it ALL right… or ANY of it right.)

21 Responses to “ Some Food Looks Like Body Parts, Because Jesus ”

Comments:

Lindsey says:
May 5th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
This is just amazing. Thanks for the reminder about Goodtube. Endless crazy entertainment…
Mel says:
May 5th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I like to think that even though I’m not a scientist, I at least can detect bullshit correlation when I see/hear it.

These people make me fear the future…
pain says:
May 5th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
this plays more like a hippie video than a jesus video.
and arent kidney beans called kidney beans bc they LOOK like kidney beans?
Knuckle says:
May 6th, 2008 at 12:42 am
I fucking love celery.
Digit says:
May 6th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Then you must have GREAT bones, because Jesus puts a little celery in your bones each time you eat a stalk.
Knuckle says:
May 6th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Shit, so it’s Jesus who comes into my dreams at night and gives me the bone injections…
Mel says:
May 6th, 2008 at 10:23 am
And celery crunches like bones. It must be troo!
Digit says:
May 6th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Jesus gives you nightly celery bone injections, WITH the cream cheese.
stinkfinger says:
May 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Celery when it is infected by a fungus which is fairly common,may produce chemicals called “furocoumarins,”which besides being carcinogenic, also have this nasty side-effect: when the juice is on your skin and your skin is exposed to UV in sunlight, it catalyzes a chemical reaction that results in nasty lesions, a lot like a chemical burn. This is generally not a problem, except when you work all day with produce, like MrBobFisherFinger. His arms looked like they had been dipped in a vat of acid.

Furocoumarin poisoning:
http://www.ansci.cornell.edu/plants/toxicagents/coumarin.html#furo

I’ve also read that furocoumarins may be concentrated in celery that is old, too long in the refrigerator.

Lesson: make sure your celery is very fresh.

Since 1926, a number of sources have reported the occurrence of dermatitis in workers who cultivate or process celery. The dermatitis had been attributed to an allergic reaction to the volatile oil.

Some celery workers, primarily Caucasians, develop phototoxic bullous lesions. Workers in greenhouses are less susceptible to lesions than those who work outside. Once healed, the lesions often leave areas of depigmentation or hyperpigmentation. Significantly, the bullae develop only after contact with celery affected by “pink-rot” a condition caused by the fungus Sclerotinia sclerotiorum . Skin reactions probably result from exposure to a furocoumarin followed by exposure to sunlight (UVA light). The pink-rot apparently increases the availability of the furocoumarin. Use of a sunscreen can prevent this reaction. Furocoumarins may be carcinogenic, and their concentration increases 100–fold in celery that is injured or diseased. Large doses of the oil may induce CNS (Central Nervous System) depression, although the specific toxic syndrome has not been well characterized.

Source: http://www.drugs.com/npp/celery.html
stinkfinger says:
May 6th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Not even science. Basically, it is sympathetic magic, based on a very old premise that plants which look like certain parts are good for treating diseases of that part, e.g., liverwort, lungwort, etc. Shamans have been using this for millenia: this is just more of the same, dressed up in pseudo-scientific garb.

You will find, in fact, that the trappings of most New Age beliefs are merely incarnations of old myths and magical traditions, amended and packaged to appeal to the modern [dipshit]consumer. In a broader sense, the process of “reasoning by analogy” drives stuff like the above, as well as numerous other modes of fallacious thinking. This is why, Christian or Pagan, both end up believing fallacious things about the world, and indulging in “doublethink,” which is the process of “holding two mutually exclusive beliefs simultaneously without seeing the dichotomy.” Example of doublethink: My computer functions according to established scientific principles described by mathematics and physics, and this facilitates its use as a tool for various purposes. Those same principles of mathematics and physics mandate that a whole range of claimed paranormal phenomena cannot possibly be taking place as described, but I believe in them nonetheless.
stinkfinger says:
May 6th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Here’s another old one: Oysters are an aphrodisiac because viewed from a certain angle, they structurally resemble a vagina.
Buttonfinger says:
May 8th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Yes! God made oysters good for the sex parts and so oysters look like twats! Especially when barbequed…I mean, the oyster…not the twat.

By the by, the more I look at the word “oyster”, the weirder it looks.
Buttonfinger says:
May 8th, 2008 at 3:46 am
“the more I look at the word “oyster”, the weirder it looks.”

And now, substitute the “word oyster” for twat.
Thumb says:
May 8th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Heh. “word oyster.” Thumb approves. Also of twats.

Roast beef sandwiches look kind of like twats too. Are they aphrodisitastic too?
Thumb says:
May 8th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I heard lately that carrots helping you see in the dark is a bunch of shit. They have some helpful vitamins for seeing in the dark, but they’re not actually that much good to your eyes on their own.

They showed a picture of everything but the cervix. Why?

And then they said that an avocado takes exactly 9 months to ripen, and tried to equate that to birth. Babies don’t take 9 months. They take 40 weeks. Do the math. Fuckers.

Onions look like body cells? BODY CELLS? You shitheads don’t believe in science! So you’re not allowed to utter the words, “body cells” ever.

I’m going to stop eating broccoli just in case the ingestion of said veggie makes my weiner look green and tree-ish.
Thumb says:
May 8th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
AND ANOTHER THING…

Narnia: Prince Caspian is advertised on the sidebar of GodTube.
Nine says:
May 8th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
KETCHUP LOOKS LIKE BLOOD, THEREFORE IF I EAT A BUNCH I’LL HAVE MORE BLOOD.

BANANAS LOOK LIKE DONGS, THEREFORE IF I EAT A BUNCH I’LL HAVE A BIGGER DONG.

And this, folks, is why I’m an atheist. It keeps the stupid off.
Thumb says:
May 8th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
BANANAS LOOK LIKE DONGS, THEREFORE IF I EAT A BUNCH OF BANANAS, I’LL HAVE A BUNCH OF DICKS.
NOT AT ALL ChaosFist says:
January 13th, 2010 at 9:42 am
celery crunches like bones? Some amazing insights about food huh…
Thumb says:
January 13th, 2010 at 11:53 am
We used celery stalks for the foley on the original This Little Thing.

Which isn’t nearly as good as the rehashed versions Middle and I did:

MIDDLE’S

THUMB’S
Don Erickson says:
February 19th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
It’s true not all the foods mentioned specifically target the body part they resemble; however, carrots do, and if you’d like a little more proof that GOD has left us hints to creation check out the ears of the African and Indian Elephants. The shape may not be the exact outlines, but they’re close enough to know that evolution had nothing to do with their design.