Sometimes American Food is Nasty Too
PiercedFinger sent me this story in photos from Flickr Photostream that starts like so…
It starts out innocently enough. Here we have the oven of a typical American kitchen, mid-binge on classic American cuisine. Heartburn inducing, to be sure. But this is just the beginning…
It is with the second photo that we can see definitively what station this train is headed for. The two burgers seem to sit atop the pizza crust like Anna-Nicole’s boobs. Lots of fat, significantly artificial, and probably harder than they should be. Oh, and also they can kill.
I’m pretty sure this next photo would cause priapism in McDonald’s CEO. We have represented here all 4 of the Major American Food Groups. Meat. Cheese. Bread. Potatoes. Pizza sauce represents a minor food group, and that is Condiment.
And here we have the finished result. This is one of those things they warmed me about in sunday school. The devil can sometimes take the form of an angel of light. It looks, at first glance, harmless enough. But the rational mind knows that this platter alone will shorten your life by 60 hours. I’m pretty sure my left arm is tingling right now just from looking at it. My eyes are getting fatter.
And finally we have the grave… er plate of the brave/retarded soul who consumed this culinary abomination. There are a few things to note in this photo. First is thse candle, because what is more romantic than a burgernuggetfrypizza? Next is the Dr. Pepper in the background. I applaud whoever sat down to this repast for not going the diet Dr. Pepper route. In for a penny, in for a pound… many pounds. Next is the tape measure, presumably to measure the weight packed on by this single meal. Finally there is the pistol and bayonet next to the plate that seem to say, “Yeah I ate it. So what? Wanna do something about it?” No, fat man, I do not. There is nothing I can do to you that you haven’t done to yourself already.
And with that I think we have learned that there are some things that may seem like a good idea at the time, but upon execution, are less so. There was the Maginot Line. The Edsel. The Segway. And now the Burgernuggetfrypizzza.